I went in to work today since I’ll be out of town this weekend.
This was a way smelly day.
Everyone in the car smelled, and not of roses. It was also fat tuesday, so I was hoping for something interesting, but alas, I was disappointed.
The pot heads with the baby happened on this day. I also picked up a fat smelly lady. Let me clarify that. This lady, was maybe 5 foot 4 but easily weighed 400 lbs. I felt bad for her but then, get this, she wanted me to take her to the freaking dairy queen. She gets a 64 ounce coke and 3 blizzards (ice creams). I hope that there were 2 other people at her house, but I know it was all for her. Dang, no wonder she’s like that.
After the smelly fat lady, I picked up a nice smelling lady from CVS, then some really nice smelling girls going downtown, and Pam. Pam is the lady who’s daughters got jumped by a gang. Anyway, they’re still being targeted by this gang of girls and Pam is going to move the girls to another school as soon as the school year is over.
I also picked up this gay guy and his tranvestite friend. The guy was not wearing a shirt and had on a mardi gras mask and body paint. The tranny friend, was wearing normal clothes but was so obviously a dude that it was almost laughable. Anyway, they liked the song that was playing on the radio and started belting it out and dancing in the back seat of the car.
I almost had a fight break out in the back seat of the car. I’d agreed to give a ride to one set of folks when a different set of people jumped into the car from the other door. The original folks, got a little pissed off and started yelling and threatened to beat the shit out of the usurpers. Fortunately it didn’t come down to a throw down, but it was still interesting.
I also ended up having a long discussion about Cleveland Steamers with some passengers. This one lady, had no idea where her hotel was, so I was just driving her around downtown until I found her hotel. Along the way, her friends and I started joking about different sexual positions and things that people do. I trumped them all with the Cleveland Steamer.
I think the best quote of the day was:
“I know I’m cute, that’s why you’re gonna buy me a drink”