I’m getting married. Not to Michelle, but to this other chick. Don’t tell Michelle cuz she’ll be really angry.
Of course, I could go into more detail about the whole thing, but then I’d ruin the surprise about the wedding and the wedding planning. Seriously, here’s the skinny about this. I’ve been watching a lot of wedding shows and just got the bug to get married. Alas, Chelle doesn’t want to get married, so I found a different solution.
I came to this conclusion yesterday. I’d had my suspicions, but I really bought into it last night. Which guy? I’m the guy in that movie knocked up. The one that got the chick pregnant, only I wish I had $162 in my bank account.
For the record, no, my hunnay is not pregnant. Much like the chick in that movie however, my girlfriend is very successful. She is going places with her career and what she does has a direct impact on just about everyone in the state of Texas. I have an impact on nothing, nada, zilch. My “career” is at a standstill. I need to get myself in gear, and get me a decent job and all that sort of thing. Basically, I need to grow up, like the guy in that movie did.
Just thought I’d borrow that line from Video X, who borrowed it from one of the best movies ever made. Anyway, lots of things going on in the offline world, all of them good. I just haven’t had the time to update on here until today. Here are the briefs, so to speak:
- Today, I saw a woman running out of a restaurant with crap running down the back of her pants. With all the talk about Alli and what it does and how it works, I can’t help but wonder if this poor woman took a pill and subsequently had a spill (aka anal leakage). The shear look of terror and embarrassment on her face almost made me feel bad for her. Oh yeah, she wasn’t a big girl either, she was actually kinda skinny, but possibly anorexic, who knows.
- I do a lot of work with special transit services, taking people to dialysis and that sort of thing. Something that I’ve noticed is that a lot of the multiple amputees on wheelchairs have this sort of “why am I not dead yet” look. It’s heartbreaking to see.
- Saw a couple of cool bumper stickers on a car that some chick was driving. One said:
“Wrap your thighs around my eyes”
The other one said:
“Let go of my ears, I know what I’m doing”
- I saw one of my regular customers waiting for the bus today, in the rain. Dude was just standing there, getting wet. I would’ve pulled over and given him a ride, had I known that he had some money to pay me with. The fact that he was waiting for the bus and not riding with me meant that he had no money to pay me, and no special transit voucher either. Y’all know the rule, “you ain’t got no money, you don’t get no ride.”