I love Sergeant Hartman. He’s one of my all time favorite movie characters.

• Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: “How tall are you private?”
• Cowboy: “Sir, five foot nine, sir!”
• Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: “Five foot nine? I didn’t know they stacked shit that high! You tryin’ to squeeze an inch in on me somewhere, huh?”
• Cowboy: “Sir, no sir!”
• Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: “Bullshit. It looks to me like the best part of you ran down the crack of your momma’s ass and ended up as a brown stain on the mattress! I think you been cheated! Where in the hell are you from anyway, private?”
• Cowboy: “Sir, Texas, sir!”
• Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: “Holy dog shit! Texas? Only steers and queers come from Texas, Private Cowboy. And you don’t look much like a steer to me so that kinda narrows it down. Do you suck dicks?”
• Cowboy: “Sir, no sir!”
• Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: “Are you a peter puffer?”
• Cowboy: “Sir, no sir!”
• Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: “I’ll bet you’re the kinda guy that would fuck a person in the ass and not even have the goddamn common courtesy to give him a reach-around. I’ll be watching you.”